Thursday, April 23, 2015

On Being A Woman In Her 30s Without Children And Why We Don't Need Another Article About It...

As I was taking a moment to peruse through the articles on one of my Twitter lists, I noticed several articles from multiple sites touting statistics that show more women are remaining single and childless and outlining the pressures women face regarding such decisions.  As a woman in my 30s, I can admit that yes, the pressures to marry and reproduce are starting to mount.  The questions about when I am going to settle down and produce a child seem to come from every direction during the holidays, from my parents, grandparents, cousins, and even, siblings.  It should also be noted, my sexuality and whether I am an undercover lesbian has even been questioned a time or two.  And if I had a dollar for each time a man has stated that one day I will be a wonderful mother, I might be able to treat myself to a really nice dinner.  But all-in-all, I fend off these assertions and questions with poise and remain, generally, unbothered.

If I'm being honest, I wasn't the girl who grew up dreaming about a wedding and I'm not the girl who goes goo-goo ga-ga over babies.  I like children well enough, and especially when I can give them back to their parents.  It's not that I don't want children.  I tend to think that I just haven't met the person that makes me want to bring forth new life into the world.  It's a big step that bears careful consideration.  However, I think the pressures are natural and all the think pieces citing statistics and discussing the pressures are just too much.  A woman's body has an inherent clock slowly ticking away her ability to have a child.  Of course, there's pressure!  A woman wakes up everyday in a body knowing that if she waits too long, she may realize too late it is something she wanted after all and if she succumbs to the pressure, she may realize it is not. We certainly don't need a think piece to remind us.